Tuesday, January 31, 2012
God reminded me of something with this that I believe we don't like to face or consider as human beings, but that if we can learn to embrace, will drastically alter who we are and how we react to everything that comes into our path. This is going to sound crazy........
PAIN. IS. GOOD.
Yep. I meant to say that.
When looking at Scripture and life circumstances combined, one can see that while God never inflicts pain, He does allow it to remain. A lot of people-myself included-have a very difficult time with this. But if you consider it, you'll find that those who know the deepest joy, who are intimate with Jesus and move and breath with the spirit-are the ones who've experienced the deepest pain. Sometimes healing and freedom can't take place unless we go through a painful ripping and tearing and re-constructing. Yes, it hurts. But it always heals more beautifully than we can imagine it would. He knows what He's doing! Let the ultimate healer work!:)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
*Jesus-show me who I truly am and teach me how to fully be that person.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Anyone else out there have an extremely difficult time with this? I don't know if it's normal to struggle with this at this large of an extent. Or if it's just the recipe of me+human-ness+my upbringing+the enemy. Whatever the reason, I continually fall into a pit of total striving and working and trying to be better and get further. But somewhere along the way I've lost focus. At least the kind of focus I once experienced.
I remember a season in which I moved and breathed in tune with the Spirit. I was listening to his heart and walking in the wind of His movement- each day an adventure of Divine appointments and insight and seeing His movement in everything. And that was the goal. The priority. Then I let Starbucks happen. I don't want to BLAME Starbucks. After all, I control my choices and my days. And I chose to let my days be controlled by work for the last year and a half. I have realized this on several occasions but haven't changed much.
it's a dark environment and a mission field if there ever was one. There is an incredibly massive desperation for hope and the Jesus that offers it in droves. But I've let work take over. I stopped listening & watching closely for the ways in which Aslan is on the move. I quit trying to develop any artistic side I have because I work so much. And I stopped having meaty spiritual conversations because "everyone's just too busy." Ugh. There is so much more to life and I need to focus. On what matters. Kingdom. People. People colliding with the reality of The Kingdom. Kicking demonic butt. NOT working more. NOT fighting and scratching my way to the top just for a few more dollars to make it easier to pay the rent. I've already been missing things at church because I'm afraid to ask for it off and lose hours. I need this mindset to change. I need to re-wire my entire way of thinking towards my time. I've reverted to an unhealthy path. This is me confessing it and declaring war on normal Americanized Christian living. Let the battle begin. (I already know who wins.)
Sunday, January 22, 2012
destroy those who look to this world for their reward.
But satisfy the hunger of your treasured ones.
May their children have plenty,
leaving an inheritance for their descendants. (Psalm 17:14 NLT)
I want this to be me and my future family. You know-I believe that when it says "leaving an inheritance for their children", it's not talking at all about money. Or physical things. I believe the greatest inheritance we can leave our children is Jesus Christ Himself. I believe that's exactly what this verse is talking about. The LORD tells us many times in scripture that He is our inheritance. That He WILL be our inheritance. And when pondering that, I realize.....it just doesn't get any better.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The expression of sadness that almost everyone else misses in my customer's eyes? The teenager who goes un-noticed? The co-worker who just needs an ear? The pastor or even celebrity that is desperate to have a normal everyday conversation? The whisper of the holy spirit As He gives me insight into someone's life I normally wouldn't have? The still of the twilight? The way His voice roars in that still moment if I shut the radio off? The anticipation of a future that goes deeper than I can imagine?.....
Yes. Those are the things I long to grasp. The things that are worth working harder to obtain. No healthy, confident, secure, in-tune person every gets there by accident. It takes work. A lot. But can you say it's not worth it? These are things I long for. I strive for. No matter how weird it makes me.
Friday, January 20, 2012
the band playing in every key & tone.
Songs written by the people here,
The talent and gifting of a musical ear.
The passion that drives the artistic work,
An understanding of the project & it's worth.
Suddenly I'm transformed to an alternate universe,
back to the Narnia I was separated from with the curse.
I sense Aslan's presence is in the sounds of the hums,
the flute, violin, and the beats of the drum.
It's the sound of His march among the room,
Reminds me that He'll be on the Earth again soon.
I long to return to this universe again,
Rather than get caught in the trap I've been in.
Jesus, come walk among each day in this way,
With the powerful music of your roar on display.
Let me not leave the artistic world in my spirit and heart.
Even when on Monday this place I must depart.
I long to tap into the artist in me,
Because then it will be YOU I will see.
Allow me to walk in fullness of who I am,
Create something beautiful and different with your powerful hands.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Are you surviving?... Or living?
There's a huge difference.
It isn't about money. Or status. Or how much knowledge you obtain. Your degree isn't going to do it for you. Neither is the corner office or plaque on the desk. If you were only surviving life before those things, that isn't going to change. If you were truly living, they may not even be desirable to you. What REALLY makes the difference?
I know who I used to be. I know who I am now. I know the impossibility of that change. No. The rest doesn't really matter.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
I haven't thought about those peoples for years. Yesterday, I was driving in the quiet with Jesus. Out of the blue, I had a vision flash before my eyes. A vision of peoples. They were all set up in their town, in their designated spots. Then, I saw myself playing with them. I created a whole new area and amazing new house for this one little guy who had been placed in the very corner of the town next to a lamppost on the street. But when I tried to pick him up from his old spot next to that lamppost to clean him up and re-paint him and place him in the brand new area that was a hundred times better that I had created just for him, he didn't want to go. He screamed "No! No! This is my spot! This is the area you've created for me. This is where I'm used to being & where I'm content. Don't take me away from all that!" As i reached down to pick him up and move him, he grabbed onto that lamp post for dear life. As if that was gonna stop me from moving him when i decided the time was right. I thought about how ridiculous it is that the little dude was freaking out about being moved from his spot when what I wanted to do was restore and give him a place that I had specifically created to showcase his color and personality. A place that is much larger and more beautiful than anything this little guy had ever laid eyes on. And here he was, fighting me from moving him because he didn't trust what I wanted to do with him. As all of this went flooding through my mind in about a 2 minute period of time, I realized the reason and significance of this flash of Divine imagination running through my head. I saw it. I knew.... How often are we that little peoples dude? How often do we grab and hang on to our current spot or position for dear life-thinking "No, Lord! Don't move me. This is the lot you've given me. Don't uproot me! I'm happy. I'm content." When what He has for us is a whole new beautiful and incredible world beyond our imagining. He won't force it on us. But he has it to freely give. If we simply step into that faith and let go. The future can be more incredible than we've ever dreamed. It's not a fairy tale. It's our reality. Grab it. Dive into it. Let go.