Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Guess what today is!?!?!?

Today is a brand new day. A new chance to begin doing that thing u always mean to do daily. A new chance to become a strong, dangerous, mighty warrior. To have a faith that can literally move mountains & heal disease. Today is a new chance to see with the eyes of Jesus all the areas the enemy tries to wriggle his way into everything and to finally stop taking his presence in your life- today it's time to finally kick his butt for good! Today is a new chance to set aside the material & dive into the eternal- living and fighting for what lasts. Today is the day to fight hard for that friendship that's not going so well. To set aside comfort & pride and take the time to make things right. To come to peace. Today is the day to begin truly living. Truly becoming a dynamic powerhouse that changes the world with their presence- one person and place at a time. Today. Not tomorrow. Not next year. Today. 

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The desire for defeat

Here's one you don't hear every day. Try this on for size:
I say it is likely that we desire defeat in our lives. Yes, you heard me correctly!  Right about now you're probably thinking I'm nuts. You're mostly right:)  

I believe it's possible that the enemy has us so wrapped up & confused that we begin to desire a life that is living in defeat of the way God longs to see us live. 

For example, I spent the last several years living In a significant amount of victory over many areas of sin and generational curses that through a lot of hard, long, painful work the Lord & I overcame. I have lived happy about this and with a feeling of accomplishment & confidence that I'm strong spiritually. But you see, a confidence that develops out of contentment of status is never a good thing. Before we have a chance to catch it, pride rears it's big ugly head and shows up on our doorstep. And if we are sittin pretty in our confidence that we aren't living in sin anymore, it doesn't ring the doorbell. It walks right in and makes itself at home.   

Lately, I've been becoming keenly aware that I've been pretty stagnant in my spiritual life. I used to have to actively do all manner of things on a daily basis to make it a day without returning to that addictive behavior. And somewhere along the line I stopped. I stopped memorization of scripture. I stopped repeating & praying it aloud; again, and again, and again......
I stopped beginning each day on my face and admitting I'd get nowhere without the Holy Spirit filling me up. I stopped asking for gigantic miracles every day & praising Him in advance for what He was going to do. I stopped asking for accountability.  I figured I didn't need to work hard to find it. I hadn't been living in that sin behavior anymore.  And then, I saw it. 

I saw me. A normal, basic, everyday person. I realized one day that I look & talk & think exactly as my co-workers do. In defeat. In un-belief. Not un-belief IN God. But OF God, who He is, Who I am in Him. I was beginning to speak in a way that consisted of hopelessness. I began to function as the rest of the world. This may not seem so bad. But you see, once you realize the power of Jesus Christ, once you experience it, once it drastically changes you, heals you, redeems you from the pit and gives you a new name, the last thing you should look like is normal. Is like everyone else. And the fact that we so often do is in itself defeat. Defeat from living and acting in the freedom & power & potential that you have in Him.  My heart has been hurt recently. And the enemy has put me into a place if isolation-He's been working very hard to strip me of my power & wear me down in every way possible.  And  I've been living in it. I've just accepted that the things that hurt and even really damage me are not able to change-this is how it is. And truthfully, I have absolutely no reason for my life to look like this. I can-and should-be fighting on my knees and face over the things that have been happening to me. But the enemy is large. And real. And he wants me to think that just because most other believers around me aren't extreme, I shouldn't be either. But if I look at most other believers around me, I see someone who looks pretty normal. Just like me. And then He whispers in my ear & tells me I need to be different. Be extreme. Fight with whatever means necessary to live with the power I have a right to. So I'll be extreme. I'll be way more weird than even most Christians. Is that so bad? I don't WANT to be like most. I want to be victorious and full of joy and victory. So, I am gonna fight. I'm gonna do whatever crazy things I have to in order to give up these last few addictions that I'm struggling with. I'm gonna care enough about the relationship that's hurting my heart to get on my face and fight for it or for peace to let it go. I'm not just going to go the extra mile to be radically different. I'll go as far as it takes. And if it's alone, so be it. I'm done being stagnant just because I feel I i have noone In my life who takes time to see it all. Don't let anything or anyone cause you to desire defeat from the unlimited power you have in the name of normalcy or fitting in. Take it from me- it's not at all worth it.

 Jesus, do your thang and be HUGE today. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Mess.

Facebook. Twitter,
all our apps get littered.
Photos, updates, even games,
How many more comments can I gain?
Photos get edited before they're put up,
I can make it look like I don't have a big butt!
We control the things that people can see,
And before long we're making up our identity. 
I choose to look good when I post something today,
I don't tell you my sleep pattern makes me live in a haze. 
I dont tell u I'm lonely and hate living alone,
Or that my heart hurts when friends get to busy to phone. 
I don't show you my pile of laundry on the couch,
Or the bum knee I teach Zumba on-ouch!
I don't tell you about the struggles I always have with my thoughts,
that every day lived in victory was REALLY fought. 
I don't talk about spiritual battles that rage,
That would be so uncomfortable to put on my facebook page!
Everyone else seems to have so much  to say,
So many updates to add to their status today.
I only have one thing on my mind at this point,
I'm worn out from my mind all the way down to my joints. 
I'm done hiding that I am a mess,
It's okay NOT to be okay. It's okay to be depressed. 
I serve a King who knows every inch of my life. 
He knows my desires, from ministry to being a wife. 
Past, present, and future are all in His hand,
If I only knew HOW much, I could more boldly stand. 
He probably chuckles when he sees me freak out
He has such great plans it's ridiculous for me to doubt. 
I'm a mess alright, but a beautiful one,
You know who told me that? My King & His Son.