A few days ago, I began really worrying over the financial aspect of Africa. God has worked out a very confident and strong spirit of peace within me over the moving halfway around the world, being thrown into a new culture, working with difficult kids, etc...
But when it comes to finances to do all the above, I began to freak out.
There's a voice that likes to play in my head when it comes to money. It's subtle. It's quiet. It even has a wise and sophisticated sound to it. Like it knows what it's talking about and I am the fool who's being utterly ridiculous by believing anything other than what it says is truth. This voice is constantly telling me that nobody will support me. Look around me. Do I really think I'm just going to have the money I need to do all this handed to me? Why in the WORLD would anybody just hand me money, anyway?! No. Nobody cares. I won't get the finances I need. I won't be able to go. So just give up.
You've heard this voice, haven't you? It's familiar, isn't it? Shouts at anybody who has even the smallest inkling of defying American Christianity in the name of something bigger. In the name standing up to our selfish, lazy culture and of changing the world. It's the voice of the enemy. Being as sensical and wise as it can. Trying with everything to have us believe we can't do whatever huge thing Jesus has given us a vision to do. It's too hard. Too expensive. Too inconvenient. He knows if he can only succeed in this one thing-just get us the listen-it'll stop us from being effective and we'll settle for normalcy and comfort.
The scariest part of listening, of succumbing, is the fact that in order to agree and settle back into normalcy we have to make a decision that this voice is correct. In doing this, we must also decide that God isn't bigger. That he can't possibly provide whatever it is we're needing. That He can't do something beautiful with us. And if only we understood who it is we were dealing with, I think we'd fall flat on our faces in shame when realizing we'd even entertained the possibility that He can't. Can't is not in His vocabulary. And we need to remove it from ours.
Be brave. Listen to the right voice today.