"Let me explain. No. There is too much. Let me sum up......"
I've been going through Breaking Free as well as reading So Long Insecurity. (Beth's brand new book that a bunch of us are reading through with her on her blog.)Funny thing: The two are completely and totally intertwined for me. The largest thing I have to break free from is insecurity. To put it all in a nutshell, I have learned how insecurity has ruled the majority of my life. (And most women's lives in our society today. Don't mistake me. I'm not at all saying that this issue has anything whatsoever to do with men. It has to do with the great accuser knowing how important women are to God and trying to demoralize them into defeat.) I have spent the last several weeks beginning to see my thought processes and actions in a completely new light. My social anxieties and awkwardness are rooted in insecurity. The thought patterns I've always known are completely rooted in insecurity. And until those change, not much else will, either. My addiction to sinful behavior that I've had a compulsion toward for at least 22 years is rooted in insecurity of ever being loved. My tendency to overeat is rooted in insecurity over who I am. The beauty and grace of God is this: As I've begun realizing these things, I've been asking the Lord to begin teaching me how to reshape my thinking. My patterns of thought. I know that freedom from where I've been will come from truth. (You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.)
"What is truth?" I asked myself. The answer: God's Word. So, in that knowledge and in the prompting of Beth in my studies, I got myself a spiral. (Thanks, Beth. it works better than anything.) I have to carry it around and take it out and read the verses over and over and over when I catch myself beginning a destructive thought pattern. The awesome thing is the Word of God truly is a double-edged sword. It truly is more powerful than the enemy and the biggest addiction or destructive pattern you can imagine.
Along with all this, The Lord has been truly gracious. His timing is ALWAYS perfect. I just began yet another Beth study. (Yes. I'm insane. I know. But hey, you gotta get tough and kick some demonic butt, and sometimes that means bombarding yourself with truth in a way that speaks your language. For me, that will always be Beth Moore.) So, in the beginnings of The Inheritance, I have already been handed the direct answers to re-thinking who I am. And how I am to think. And what my place is in this world and the Kingdom. It all fits together so very beautifully. The first two telling me where things are "off" and ripping off the skin I've been in my whole life. The new one full of truth, a new "skin", so to speak. (For an amazing word picture of this, read the part of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader where Eustace becomes a dragon and Aslan has to de-dragon him. No really, go read it. It is incredible!)
And there you have it. A very nutshell version of what God's been up to through my friend Beth:)
Ah, Jesus. You continually blow my mind. With increasing intensity, I might add. I'm simply crazy in love with you.