Since my earliest memories, I've always loved the art of dance. I find it deeply moving and beautiful. My grandmother used to take me to the ballet, and for years I'd fall asleep every night listening to The Nutcracker while playing all the scenes in my head. Pretending to be Clara. However, I've spent most of my life overweight and sitting at a piano. Dance was one of those things I would admire and long for from afar as I pounded out Beethoven's fifth.
Recently, a renewed or re-discovered passion for dancing has been a huge part of my life. I'm not sure if it has to do with instructing Zumba or not, but I have longed almost more than ever to be a dancer. To study and learn the art. Modern. Ballet. Even ballroom. And for the first time since being very young, I have finally become fit enough for this to be possible.
Last week, I was feeling particularly down about wanting to take classes but having a lack of time and finances. I was venting about this to Jesus, knowing He understands my emotions more than even I. I told Him my heart hurt because I just wanted this so badly.
The next day, as I was leaving the gym, a lady who's in Zumba with me caught me in the parking lot. She told me "I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoy watching you dance during Zumba. When you free-style, you have such rhythm & natural movement. And you love it. I don't know what dance background you have but it's beautiful." I couldn't believe what she was saying. I had to choke back tears as I realized that Jesus was showing me that in His way-not mine-He's always answering my prayers. Just because it doesn't look a certain way doesn't mean He's not doing something incredible. Or caring about what matters to us. We just need to stop insisting that it all look as we want and see how much better He paints it to be. Open eyes. Open heart. Look.