I am sitting on an airplane somewhere in between South Africa and Germany. With the time changes happening my body only knows it's the middle of the night outside, but I'm wide awake. This is only the first 10 hour flight today. Well, actually tomorrow. Because we're backtracking. My legs are very RLS-y and my mind is reeling.
The last few weeks have been some of the best moments of my life. Moments of God speaking to me in the midst of a lot of busyness and of working and playing with children. Sometimes the most significant ways in which He speaks are in whispers that penetrate deep into your heart and sprit. Whispers that only you hear and that you can't explain to someone with words. In fact, that's one of the largest things Jesus has been saying to me recently. That I need to know and prepare for people not to understand the journey and the choices I am embarking on. And I need to be okay with that. There are a few amazing people in my life who get it, and they are going to be the special blessing along the way. (That's an important thing for all of us to remember. Your journey is you and Jesus. Be bold and stand straight with your head high. Do what you're called to.)
I've always loved Africa. And I've wondered for years if that love could possibly mean I am meant to live there long term. Being able to actually go has been one of my biggest dreams. And I wasn't sure what was going to transpire on this trip.
I've been saying this a bit repeatedly lately, so I apologize if you're reading this for the second or third time:
Being in Africa has been a lot of confirmation. I do believe this place contains the most beautiful people, spirit, culture, and music of all the world. And spending time there is like meeting someone you have grown to love from a distance and realizing they're even better in person. And before you know what hits you, you are falling madly and head over heals in love. I honestly do not have any desire whatsoever to be traveling back to the states. And I want to be back as soon as possible. Don't get me wrong, I know at times the honeymoon wears off and it's not all flowers and sunshine. And I would miss things about home. And there's so much I don't know or understand yet about this nation. But I do believe I would love to commit to long term living here regardless.
My heart has been lost to Africa. And now comes the scary, hard, crazy, abnormal, but exhilarating journey. I have to figure out what the heck I'm gifted at and wired for, who the heck out there needs those gifts on their team, and how to find enough supporters to go do it. I'm terrified. And ecstatic. And curious. And I need to learn how to stop trying to figure it out and have the answers.
I think this is one of those times in life where I need to throw myself at the feet of the King and say "Show me what you're up to. Let me jump in. Take care of me. Provide for me." I am horrible at that. I always try to figure it out and earn it myself. Please, people. Keep me accountable here. If I'm going to do this thing, I want to do it well.
Cheers. Here's to crazy new unknown territory and the adventures that await.