Last year was the beginning of a
100%, unhindered, un-conditional commitment to long-term missions. Last year was also an important chunk of time spent working hard on a commitment to lose a significant amount of weight. Oddly enough, last year also presented a rather frightening and difficult health challenge for 10 months. And after several specialists and no help, Jesus healed me himself.
This year has not started off as a picnic. I committed to Africa this June. My heart has always had a love for Africa that is not ordinary. So this will be a starting place to see and experience a piece of it for the first time. Only a few weeks after I committed to the trip, I had a whole new batch of weird health issues begin to present themselves. What was supposed to be a normal abscess in a tooth in the beginning of April ended up being an expensive ordeal that was never healed. Over 3 weeks ago I woke up with a swollen face and painful mouth. The misery has only increased and I finally found out last week that an infection from my abscess has been circulating my bloodstream for two months and the doctor is worried about it getting into my heart. (What a buzzkill from the excitement of suddenly having these huge Angelina Jolie lips.)
It gets better. The penicillin doesn't seem to be working and I've developed an allergic reaction to it. I have hives and a swollen face and tongue this week.
It seems to me that since the moment I ended my "career" to commit myself fully to missions and becoming physically healthy, I've experienced one health blow after another. I attempt to be tough. I attempt to push hard and keep living normally despite whatever my body is doing. (I even spent this weekend in Disneyland.)
However, it has been wearing on me and I'm not sure I can be strong for a ton longer. I'm exhausted. I just want to feel healthy and vibrant and energetic again. I'm worried about Africa which will be here in a few short weeks. About my body and this trip.
I feel that this whole thing is absolutely an attack on the decisions I've made to be all I can be in Jesus. I'm aware that if we tap into it, we all have the ability to be incredible powerhouses when we learn to walk in the Spirit. And I believe there's an attempt to shut me down going on. The enemy failed with me mentally. Lost that game big time. So he's moved on to physical.
I write this today because I do believe in the necessity of the Body. I believe it takes the church. I believe there are those of you out there who have a heart and gift for prayer and intercession. And I believe that Biblically I'm supposed to ask for it in times like this. My stubborn pride doesn't like it. But here I am. Telling whoever finds this that I am pretty weak right now and would covet the prayers of those who know they're called to it. And I'll leave it at that.
I love you. All.