So, last night was a huge move toward complete freedom. I wasn't feeling good as I got home from church and headed to bed. I tossed and turned with a headache for a while. Then, out of nowhere, the verses off my index cards started to come to mind. And one in particular stuck and started to play over and over like a tape on repeat. It was Hebrews 10:35-36: "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." I really "got" that verse for the first time. The meaning struck me almost dumb. Then...God suddenly removed the blinders and in a rush like a tidal wave coming over me, I began to see some of the major problems I'm stuck in from a view on top, rather than from under them! It was amazing. For one of the first times ever without being prodded from a friend, I took complete authority over the different spirits I KNEW have been bugging me. I decided out of nowhere that I wasn't going to take their crap anymore, and they needed to leave me the heck alone. So I had a little stomping session with Jesus. He let me have a taste of some pretty incredible authority. And WOAH, it was amazing! There just aint no high like the most high, I'm telling you. Nothing, NOTHING compares to the high of kicking demonic butt hand and hand with Jesus. It is amazing. I think last night was the first step towards learning to live in my authority DESPITE any feelings I may have. And if this is just the beginning, oh boy! I can't wait to see what comes next.
In the middle of all this, I realized that there was a special significance taking place. See, my major problem has been bondage to a destructive thought life. Lies about who I am and who God is have flooded my head and for years played over and over and over. I realized that what took place last night was the action of a tape playing over and over and over.....but it was a tape of truth. A tape of the God of the universe speaking to me and about me through His word. God is using the exact method that destroyed me and put me in bondage and held me there for years to free me. How like God. How awesome! I love Him more each day! Beth, I'm sure many many people have told you, but here's another telling you that the index card thing really, really works! Praise You Jesus!