Since this is sort of Beth’s life message, and since I’ve recently been realizing the long road I have yet to travel, I decided on it for a starting place. I can see God’s hand and timing in the choice of study. In the last two weeks, I’ve been on a roller coaster- ranging from a high of feeling that I’ve come so very far, and looking down on all the familiar ugly places I’ve been; to a fast dive, swooping around steep, sharp corners and straight down among some of those very familiar places. Sometimes it seems that roller coaster moves so quickly, that I feel I’m plummeting straight down into one of my old pits, only to crash once I’m deep inside. Ah. But the beauty of roller coasters is that while you certainly feel you are plummeting straight down towards the ground at lightning speed, you KNOW that’s not the case. You trust and believe in the construction of the ride. And even in those moments of feeling your stomach has risen into your chest, you have faith that at that very last second, just before you do hit the asphalt at 100 miles per hour, the track will take a sharp turn upwards, or sideways, and you are suddenly safe again. I especially love Space Mountain because you’re in absolute darkness. You can’t even see your hand in front of your face. You have to believe that you are safe and that the roller coaster track isn’t going to lead you straight into the ground. THAT is often what our lives are like. THAT is often how we walk with the Lord. It is encouraging to know that no matter how wild the ride, no matter how scary it may seem, we are safe.
That leads me to the introductory session of Breaking Free. The day I put it in to watch it, I had had a rough couple of weeks. I had gotten to a point of feeling overwhelmed, depressed, exhausted, like a failure. But I had not stopped to analyze why I had gotten back to a place of feeling like that. Just weeks before, I was confidently on a high! I often get on a low that makes me depressed and exhausted in a way that makes it too much work to figure out how I even got there. I’m just there. Little did I know or expect Beth to talk about oppression and the reasons for it.
I was reminded that, yes, we do have a very active enemy who thrives on the demoralization of humans-(I’m stealing this from Believing God) finding out what we fear the most and then doing everything he can to make that come true. I too often forget this. I have let myself again fall into the trap of deciding I am too tired to fight or function in the power and authority I know has been given me. Which is exactly what the enemy wants. This is a pattern too often repeated. For me and too many others. The upside is that I can trace it slightly better this time. Which is progress-Praise you LORD! See, this time I can see that several weeks ago, I was having a time of clarity and wisdom and revelation. I was seeing myself and certain difficult situations through God’s eyes. I was walking in confidence. And I even spoke up and verbalized some of this. And it was in that place and that verbalization that I became a threat to the enemy. He starts to get nervous when he sees that I’m getting it. That I’m beginning to function as a powerful and dangerous weapon against him. And BOOM! The arrows begin to get thrown. Attack on our camp begins. A desperate attempt to stop any power and freedom before I happens-because he knows who he’s up against and that once it starts to flow he’ll never gain any ground. That is why he calls on all demons to ambush from all angles. I can see how I get hit so fast from all sides and before I know it I’m down and falling into those old familiar pits. Being ignorant of the enemy and the way he does this is just ridiculous. I need to know this and arm myself against it. I need to wise up and get to work. I have nothing to lose. In the end, I know who wins. So why am I not enjoying the power I have kick some serious demonic ass? Time to get busy. Get your boots on and join me! Let’s shut him down and find out just how free-and how powerful-we can be!