Monday, February 2, 2015
Being halfway across the world, I am out of the loop. For me there's no smartphone. No Instagram. no apps. No Netflix or Hulu. There's no superbowl here. There's no baseball season. There's alone-ness. Quietness. The only noise is the thoughts in your head that you can't drown out with a hundred distractions. I listen as the birds outside my window sing me a wake-up tune. The sunrise over the water is so silent I can hear the fish jumping. And I sit there with a cup of tea, tearfully letting my broken heart lay out before the Lord and the day. And I realize that until we can submit ourselves to a period of no phone, no T.V. and no constant postings of selfies, we have no clue what it's like to allow the King of this Universe to be the only affirmation and voice we seek. We don't even recognize Him anymore because He refuses to shout louder than the noise we let in every day. To have a spirit of stillness and quietness of soul for weeks on end is the most difficult and most beautiful thing one can experience. But I want it. I want to know His voice better than the oldest and most familiar friend. I want to have the gumption to say "Life has made me tired. I'm broken. I'm worn out in my spirit. I'm fragile. I will not decide what I'm doing next until I hear HIM tell me with crystal clarity. I will not hurry. I will sit at His feet and listen. For weeks. I will wait on Him. I will stop striving for a title and just be."