This morning I was rudely and quite abruptly pulled out of a particularly vivid dream by my alarm. Even the "Bug's Life" theme isn't something I want to be hearing at 4:00 in the morning.
By the time I was driving to work, I was in tears over the exhaustion. I thought a lot about the tendency to become frustrated and overwhelmed and sucked into a job or life we don't actually have any desire to remain in forever. And then we self-medicate. In a thousand ways. All to distract ourselves from it. Because that's what America is. Teaches. Does.......And I rebel against it with every grain of my muddy flesh.
I was asking Jesus to "shift my heart into a positive attitude as I strive to......."and before I could even begin my list the Holy Spirit stopped me dead in my tracks. "Baby, all you ever DO is strive." I knew without even thinking about it how true that was. I mean....seriously. How many of us spend our lives striving with every ounce of our energy to be or become this or that? Think about it. Just thinking about all the ways I do exhausts me to no end. And then....God says "Cease striving and know that I am God." No command to do anything or achieve or gain man's approval or even have a life that LOOKS like anyone else's. Jesus invites us in to simply BE. The mess that we are and all. And suddenly the day is so much brighter and full of hope and possibilities. And it's such a freeing a beautiful thing.