"Conversations with Jesus (Part 2)" OR "You Make Beautiful things"

Lately, I'm reminded simultaneously of the fact that Jesus has radically redeemed me and brought me so far, yet I have a long way yet to go. I'm still learning the art of Believing God. I've been attempting to make everything work and have an answer for everyone I run into. When the reality is so very different. And I need to be okay with the reality. That's the part I'm struggling with. Discontentment over where I am. If everyone knew how I really was on the inside, how I think and feel, they'd flip! Anyone feeling me here? I could give you a list of all the things I'm fighting with in myself. The shame I need deliverance from over parts of my life and who I am. But I'll refrain so that we can all relate to what I'm about to say... Where are we? What are we deeply wrestling with and losing a battle over? What has us striving so hard the veins in our necks are about to pop out? Come. Join me in letting it go. Let's throw our hands up, stop fighting, and become messy heaps on the floor together. Today, I give up having answers and being put together. I'm chaotic. I'm messy. I don't fully know who I am or where I'm headed. And that is exactly where Jesus wants me. Because until we are a heap of soft clay in a pile on the ground, He can't pick us up and work with us. Softening, molding, creating a masterpiece. I don't want to be too stiff for Him to use, do you? Do me a favor, will you? When you talk to me next, rather than asking if I've got plans for Africa yet, ask me if I've been working on being pliable clay. Seeking to know Him more and become more like Him. Running after His heart and making it my life. Because if I work on that, He'll take care of the rest. After all, He's in the business of creating beauty, you know.