Monday, June 21, 2010

Thirteen Years

Thirteen years ago today, I was sitting on a log in Mount Hermon and my entire life changed drastically for good. I realized and accepted the fact that when Jesus Christ died on that cross, He had ME on His mind. And a lightswitch turned on in me. I was flooded with truth and life. I understood for the very first time that the God of the Universe CARES about me and my hurts. That was Earth-shattering. I began what has been the most incredible, amazing, and wild ride of my life. He has taken a messed-up and extremely confused little girl and pulled me out of more pits than I can count. He has filled me to overflowing with His Spirit and shown me miracle after miracle. I've watched the impossible happen before my very eyes on numerous occasions. I just continue to fall more and more in live with Him.

The interesting part of today being my spiritual birthday is the fact that so much happens to be changing right now. It reminds me of this day in 1997. I embarked on a crazy journey with no idea where it would lead. And that is today happening again. Almost every aspect if my life is changing right before my eyes. And that's difficult for me. It hurts. A lot of the changes make me look like a loser or failure or unsuccessful compared to many people my age. (And even younger.) I get embarrassed to mention them. I feel I've failed and have to hide certain things going on with me. As I was taking all of this into consideration, the Lord gently reminded me of something precious and sweet that I have learned to be true along the way in the last 13 years. He's taught me that my feelings don't dictate who I am. His opinion of me never changes. And even though Im in the middle of some tough situations, and I FEEL down and a bit depressed and like a loser, I'm still everything I always was and will be in the Kingdom. I love the fact that I can't lose or change my inheritance. I'm a daughter of the King. No matter WHAT happens here, I can't lose my standing. Ephesians 1 says I'm blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, forgiven, and sealed in love. Whether I feel it or even LIKE it. Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen. No matter what. That whole Narnian concept of the kids not feeling quite at home unless they're in their rightful places in Narnia is not just a story. It's me. It's us. It's REAL. Now THAT is awesome.


BeckyLove said...

Thank you dear girl for being so candid! It's nice to know how you're seeing these events. For the record, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! These steps you're taking toward new goals and challenges are NOT steps backward! God is freeing up time in your schedule for special things. Can't wait to hear what He does. <3

BeckyLove said...

PS, the new blog layout is stinkin' adorable. Maybe put something behind the words to make it easier to read. <3