She had been feeling overwhelmed lately. Her wk situation seemed hopeless. She felt invisable to everyone. Alone. She was exhausted of taking care of herself all the time. It's too hard to take care of old people all day and then have to care for yourself and your house and health, too. Especially on minimum wage.
She woke up this morning with all of this weighing heavy on her shoulders and heart. She considered skipping a shower and going back to sleep. But, she decided against that. She always has her best thoughts in the shower. Something about the hot water wakes her mind up and comforts her. This morning, As she began to wake up, she had a movie scene flash through the back of her mind. The catterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. "whooooooooo are yooooooooou?!" she chuckled to herself.
All of a sudden-so quickly that she barely had time to see it- the catterpillar
flashed into something else. For a moment, she thought she was imagining things. Then....it happened again. "That DID just happen!" Sure enough, it was the face of Aslan. In all it's golden glory. The most beautiful lion she has ever seen.
"well, who else?"
"Oh wow. Okay. So what's up?"
Big grin from Aslan."whooooooooo are yooooooou?"
"you heard me."
"Uh, wrong character. Don't u think?"
smile. "Just answer the question."
"Um, I'm me. I'm the activities director at Orangeburg Manor. I work with high schoolers at church. I'm single(frown), I like art and music, uh....I don't know what you're gettin at. U know all this!"
"You still haven't answered the question."
"Uh, didn't I?"
"No. come on. What has Beth taught u? WHO ARE YOU?!"
"ooooooo! I get it. I'm blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, forgiven, sealed, loved."
"Now you're talkin. We need to wk on believing this."
"Yeah. It's just hard when so much is awry in my life. Things haven't been that great lately, you know".
"Thats true. They haven't. That's what I showed up for today. I just want to remind u of who u are. You are Lucy. This world is not your home. It's OKAY to long for and cry out for Narnia. To miss it. To feel totally "wrong" & out of place here. Because......you are!"
At that, she stopped trying to be strong. She wept. She cried. She told Aslan how badly she wanted to get away from here. From all the demands. From the everything. Just when she felt her heart might rip in two, she remembered how often Lucy, Susan, Peter, & Edmund waited and looked for Narnia. For Aslan. She remembered the longing they had for it.
"Okay. I will wait. I will trust that you have something great on the way. And I will be strong as I look forward to it."
Just then, from nowhere, or maybe everywhere, there came a warm breeze right on her face as she heard a magnificant, strong roar that she could swear had a hint of a smile. And then, deep in her spirit, she heard a very familiar voice say "That's my girl!"