Yesterday I was in tight quarters around lots of strangers all day. Naturally, you get into conversation. About the fifth or sixth time someone asked me "what do you do?" As I began my regular speel of "I'm a partner @ SBUX, I'm on staff w/ a High School ministry, I'm a clown, I'm a Zumba instructor...." I became very convicted. In a sudden flash something became extremely apparent to me. When asked about myself, I automatically default into these answers. I realized that in my mind they are a description of who I am & how I see myself. And I realized how very dangerous that is. Because that brings u to one of two schools of thought. 1.) most people think there I absolutely nothing wrong with what I do. In fact, to most people these are all good things. And sometimes I sit in a lot of ugly pride over some of it. 2.)To some people they may seem slightly immature and not quite successful ENOUGH for a woman my age.

I struggle & go back & forth between both pride & shame over the list of things I'm involved in. I either love being different or think "Have I completely failed at success for someone my age because I do things that are basically minimum wage?" This is often looming over my head with sharp teeth waiting to sink into a good, juicy victim for dinner.

Yesterday I had a real moment of clarity. Of reminders. Of vision. Of conviction. Of renewed focus. When asked "what do you do?" people are essentially saying "what are you and your life about?" And here I'm answering with this list. That tells a lot about what I see when I look at myself in my heart & spirit. If I was truly seeing myself accurately, I would have such an overflow that when asked this question my answer would be "I'm actually royalty. I'm a daughter of the King over all. I have His authority and seal so that I can make things happen on His behalf wherever I go." Can you imagine what'd happen if we actually got that & functioned in this daily? What if when asked what we do, we answered like that? We SHOULD.